A so called “Professional Mistress” writes an open letter of apology and warning to the women she has harmed. The following is a reconstruction of her letter.
I am writing this is in a pubic blog in an effort to get my words out to all women. Those I harmed and those who could be harmed by women like me as there are many. I can hope you can forgive me and for others I hope I can help you and thus reduce at least some of my guilt. I cannot undo what I have done to others and myself but I can say how sorry I am and tell others how they might prevent this from happening to them.
At a very young age I learned my good looks had perks. Those perks came do to assumed favors I would give in exchange for gifts, money etc. Friends of my family would shower me with cash, gifts, trips out and friendship in effort to get me to smile. As early as Middle School I learned the boys would do almost anything to please me. I used this to gain gifts, dates, help with homework and more. Sometime during Middle School I took this to new level by exposing myself for favors and later engaging in sex or sex acts. I found I had to do little for myself as boys (and later men) would do anything I wanted. Even as a teen I guess I was a Professional Mistress. In High School this continued however I found that Adult men (not in High School) had more money to spend on me. I dropped out of High School and left home. I let men pay my bills. I lived well as I was picky on whom I engaged with making sure they had enough cash to support my life style. I paid no taxes and lived better than most. The sex was sometimes good and others time not so much. I wasnt in it for the pleasure I was in it for the money and gifts. I owned furs, jewelry, cars, expensive dwellings and more. I didnt have a boyfriend as I did not care to have one. This went on for years! Most of the men were married but I didnt care. It wasnt my problem. It was during these encounters I did hear the issues these men were dealing with and was surprised on how a simple change could have avoided this. However I did not care I was well cared for. As the years went on the men slowly stopped coming by and more importantly they stopped paying my bills. Soon there were none! I found myself alone, penniless and homeless. I had no education or skills to fall back on. I had no retirement fund and had not contributed to Social Security etc. I now live in a dump with a roommate. I barely make ends meet. Thats my story I can only hope so young girl reads this and it stops her from following in my footsteps. Once its over ladies you have nothing! I have no husband, no children, no future! Soon as men I date discover my past they run.
I want to say to all the women I hurt (very few I ever knew) I am deeply sorry. You had what I can only dream of and I ruined it! Yes I broke many marriages or damaged them so badly they could never return to what they were. I can do no more than tell you how deeply sorry I am. I cannot undo what I did. I know it was wrong and I was acting out of self with no feelings towards those I hurt. I was selfish! I know now how wrong I was but I can only offer my regret and remorse. If its any help I live a life of despair now. If I can offer you anything I can tell you how unhappy I am and how I know it was my own poor choices that brought me here. It was never ok to use these men and hurt them and their families. I was 100% wrong and 100% selfish. I am truly sorry! Not just for me as I sit here in misery but for you as well. I understand the loneliness now. It almost unbearable. Please accept my apology.
As part of my efforts here I want share what I was told over the years by these men. You may be surprised by the simple matters that opened door for women like me to walk in. I will try to do this simply without blame. Again this is not a theory these issues were repeated to me time and time again by men I used for my self support who support my lifestyle as “Professional Mistress”.
. Praise your man. Men are egomaniacs and children. If your man does something good let him know you know it. He needs reassuring hes pleasing you. First thing I learned was to boost their egos! I thank every man for every gift regardless if I like it or not. In bed he was the best or at least he thought he was. If your man thinks he pleasing you he will go extra mile. He will also not seek sex elsewhere. (More on sex later) If you man feels appreciated he wont seek recognition outside your relationship. The easiest thing for women like me to exploit is not sex! No sex comes later. I need to get door open first. I open door by finding out how to give each man what they seek and in most cases its appreciation not sex!
. Make things about him once in a while. Ok you think you got this wired your wrong! What movies are you going to see? Who decides where you eat when you go out? What about TV who is deciding the shows you two watch? What is your mans favorite sport, hobby etc? If you know is he engaging in it? You think its fine its not. Just because he doesn’t argue or speak up doesn’t mean hes getting his way too. He may be doing what you want because he cares and wants you happy so return the favor.
. Dont talk down to him or criticize his every move. Many of them men I spent time with felt they could do nothing right at home. Clearly thats wrong otherwise your marriage/relationship would be over already. Praise the effort not the result! If your spending all your time telling him what he is doing is wrong your pushing right towards women like me who will exploit this. He must be doing something right so let him know! If you spend too much time telling him what he is doing is wrong you murder his self esteem! He will also stop trying! He must be doing something right. Tell him that too.
. Listen to him. I cant count how many times a man told me his wife doesnt listen to him! We are not talking just in an argument either. He wants to share things that are important to him with you. Ok so you dont care for Football or his team. Why shut him out? He wants to share this interest with you as much as you want to talk about the latest Romantic Comedy release. I would spend hours listening to a man talk about whatever even if I cared less. It was important to him and so I listened he in turned paid my bills. Its not hard and if he can listen to you why cant you return favor especially if you care!
. Sex is last for a reason. Sex is probably the biggest factor but not most important or at least not how you think. You think your man is a pig with a 24 hour erection. Your wrong. Most of my men have sex with their spouses it was about sex but in different way. The sex they were having could be good even great but there were other aspects that slowed their sex or made it possible for me to find a way in. Ladies your man wants to be wanted just like you. Who initiates sex most often? If its not you or at least equal thats a problem. Do you tease or flirt with your man? If not you should. Treat him as you did when dating! If your man feels or better knows you desire him he is less likely to seek sex or affection elsewhere. Are you in tune to what he wants in bed? If your doing same thing every time it becomes too routine. Be open to new things, places etc. Ask him what he wants. Spontaneous sex is great for a man he loves it. Maybe make one day/night about him. Please him dont worry about yourself. After all dont you do that with other issues with him and children? Its a gesture of love. Its not about being a sex slave its about showing him pleasure because you care. Sex needs to be about both of you! Your man needs to feel you find him sexy and want him as much as he wants you. If your sex has dropped it could be for the reasons above. Ladies be aggressive if you want sex take it he wont likely say no. If you also tell him how much you enjoy sex (with him) you will get more. Even better tell him what you like best he will do it more! Tell him what you want and desire as well experiment together. Ladies sex is in your control!
Once more i want to say I am so sorry for what I have done to you and I hope this letter helps you avoid the problems above. Ladies if you want to spent your golden years alone then follow my footsteps. If not stay in school get a job and a husband and hold on to him!