In this write up we will discuss Male/female friendships. Where we cannot truly speak in absolutes we will talk about probabilities. We will discuss there likely perspective of each and possible motives.
Ok so your BFF is a member of the opposite sex and neither of you if Gay or lesbian. Where you feel your friendship is solid and strong it may not be. What are each of you seeking from the friendship or better yet what hidden desires might be in the back of his/her mind. Is there another objective to the friendship? These are important questions and as sexist as it may sound Men and women many times view things differently even when looking at same picture. Lets look at both genders and again it may sound sexist but these thoughts tend to be the norm in our experience and with people we interviewed. This was NOT a scientific survey or done with any set goals. It is possible the means and possible results could be flawed. It is our opinion though these statements tend to be accurate according to our study.
Women tend to see these friendships as exactly that a friendship nothing more. However one must be cautious that you don’t become so close as “friends” its confused with romantic feelings or that because your “friends” you don’t close the door on possible “Mr. Right”. You need to keep open mind and your male friend needs to likely be reminded, in one way or another, you are just friends. Men can be fooled or fool themselves to think your kindness, smile etc have romantic intentions. Yes this happens all the time. Men we talked to admitted that if a woman smiles at him she likes him. This is true even if he smiles first. Because men think like this you (the female) need to be aware of this and use caution. do not mislead your friend or give him a reason to feel your leaning towards romantic feelings. Women you on other hand need to be wary that your close bound is not confused by either of you. Your getting close and hes there for you now you might start feeling for him. Is it real? Does he care? or is he just being a friend. You need to also be aware that some mean will use your feelings and secrets to gain your romantic or sexual interest. Its sad but true, Where this is certainly not the norm it does happen.
Men rarely seeks friendships with women they don’t have a sexual interest in. When asked privately the men we spoke to all said if their female friend gave them the opportunity for sex or romance they would accept. Men tend to have a hard time separating friendship and romance. Because of this its hard for them to be just a “friend”. they may play the friend role for years maybe life bu tin the back of their mind they want more. Men bond differently than women. If you know this difference you have won half the battle. Why is he your friend? Does he want you, your female friend or, does he really want to be your friend? Good question. Ask yourself this as well why do men refer to “The Friend zone” as a bad thing!? Men do not typically seek women out as friends. If a man seems to have a desire for friendship you need to ask why? What is he seeking? It is this writers opinion that if you meet a new man who wants to be friends that you keep things causal for quite a while and get some feel to his intentions. In an extreme move make a play for him or otherwise give him opening to pursue you romantically or sexually. If he jumps on it then he clearly had this in back of his mind. If he doesn’t or questions you about it or, otherwise stalls process, then there may be something to this friendship
In closing both sides can be wrong or right. Either can misread signs or intent. Do not jump into such a friendship head first. Start slow see where things lead so no one is hurt, angry or, betrayed.
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