In this write up we will discuss what can happen when one of you withholds sex or intimacy from the other. We are not condoning giving in to sex when you don’t wish to or dislike it. This is about couples who have active sex lives and enjoy it. We are not encouraging one have sex under duress, force or any means that one could consider rape or unwanted. to repeat this is about couples who currently have sex lives and enjoy sex. We are discussing using sex as a weapon or a means to manipulate your partner. In this case how withholding sex impacts the relationship and what “might” happen as a result
Many relationships we hear of partners who withhold sex. Now this can be very dangerous and have complications that the person withholding may not expect. The reason this happens most often is to punish the other partner. The person withholding feels the other partner has done something wrong and decides to punish the other by not having sex. Now this would be fine for a few days maybe a week but what about after the sting has gone? Let me add that once you use sex as a weapon it becomes easier to do so again. Now having sex while mad at your partner is not the norm so maybe after an unpleasant discussion or fight having sex that night might not be on the table. However carrying this on over a long period of time can be very harmful. Let look at what can happen when one partner withholds sex from other.
Sex becomes a tool:
Once you cross the line and use sex as a weapon it becomes a tool to manipulate your partner. It is no longer intimacy but (as stated) a tool. It can be used or even assumed by other partner as a means to control behavior. This tthis takes the romance out of sex for both. Its a reward now
The partner being withheld sex is now hurt. He/She feels lack of love and much of the closeness they once shared has diminished. He/She begins to feel resentment and anger and may even stop seeking sex as a result. This could result in a “loveless relationship.” In addition the partner being withheld sex may find his/her own ways to retaliate and withhold any number of things as well. Then the relationship becomes a War Zone. These hurt feelings and the resulting actions are hard to come back from
When one partner withholds sex from the other partner the chances the partner will seek sexual gratification elsewhere grows. He/She may not even be looking for it but a situation might arise and this person could give in to temptation. Sex is very gratifying and denied long enough could have your partner making poor choices.
Bottom lime is withholding sex is never a good idea past one or a few nights. It changes the relationship and how both view sex. Keep sex what it is and always has been a means to express your feelings towards each other. Sex should never be a weapon or tool to use to punish your partner. Don’t let withholding sex become the norm in your relationship! In fact ask yourself this? When was last time we had sex? What were the details? Did we both enjoy it? Did we share love that last time? Who started it? If you cannot answer any of these then you need to have sex tonight!