This article or its content anyways was taken from another blog. Its was reprinted after a Relationship Expert posed his theory on what really destroys relationships. It wasn’t cheating, money, sex or anything most people would consider. It does however give one food for thought. The Author of this theory (name withheld) has not given ParentNook permission to repost this so we do so without his name. He is from Europe and has several degrees in related fields and has written numerous papers on relationship issues and concerns. His work is praised by his peers. ParentNook is not supporting or denying the theories in this post its here for education and to give the readers something to think about. In an effort to avoid legal concerns the article is NOT copied and pasted but rewritten and uses simple words rather than larger ones for readers to better understand. Words may have been changed but theory remains the same.
Many Clients and colleagues ask me what destroys marriages or relationships? They follow this with is it adultery, money, sex or something else? Its actually much more simple than that I believe. The aforementioned are products of the real issue. Before I dive head first into this let me say something. When we begin a relationship (dating) our focus is on the object of our affection. We learn about them and what they like and what they do not like. Our goal is to please this other person and if done right same is true of other. If we marry this continues. However after time and children (if this applies) we forget this. This is where it starts. Our focus becomes our self. Now you seek self gratification instead of seeking to please your mate. Which has a negative impact on you and your relationship. Yes I know children need to be cared for but they eventually will move and you are left with your mate. Children are to be cared for yes but as they grow they are to be taught to care for themselves. Where the problems lies is we (all sexes) forget to please our mate and focus on what we want. This change can provoke actions like adultery, over spending, lack of sexual desire, lies and more. so you see the symptom is this its not the actual problem. In our vows we often promise many things NONE of these is about our self! Its about loving and caring for our mate. Yes money, cheating and more are blamed for failed relationships they are not the actual cause in my view. Its stopping what has always worked that is real problem. Go back to what brought you together and make your mates happiness (not yours) your priority he/she will do same and your relationship will thrive and survive anything the world throws at it. Its what got you to where you are so it works! Why stop?
To Sum things up your focus needs to be on your mates happiness and not yours. You will feel better about this and your mate will return this love and all will be happy.